Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In
Authors: Mark Goulston, Dr. John Ullmen
Pub Date: January 2013
Print Edition: $24.95
Print ISBN: 9780814420157
Page Count: 272
e-Book ISBN: 9780814420164
Buy the book:
Are you frustrated because you fail to get people to buy into your
great ideas, can’t close the deal on tough sales, or constantly hit
the wall when you try to influence people?
If so, you’re not alone. As executive coaches, we know that it’s
harder than ever to influence people because the old rules of per-
suasion no longer work.
Today, we live in a postselling and postpushing world. As people
grow more aware of manipulative tactics, their guard goes up. The
Internet, television advertising, and wall-to-wall marketing have
made us cynical about deceptive tricks and hard-sell approaches.
Your customers, your coworkers, and even your kids can all recog-
nize “pushy” influence . . . and when you use it, they’ll push back
twice as hard.
Yet most of the books and business school courses that teach
persuasion skills emphasize manipulative tactics and techniques.
They conceive of influence as something that you “do” to some-
one else to get your way. And they focus on short-term gains
rather than long-term consequences.
We call this outdated strategy disconnected influence. It’s a short-
sighted strategy that sometimes creates momentary “buy-in” but
often at the expense of your relationships and reputation. And it
keeps you from making the deep, transformational connections
that lead to great outcomes in your career and in your life.
To influence people in powerful ways that can change your future,
you need to move from disconnected to connected influence.
When you make this transition, you’ll set the stage for strong, sus-
tained influence by becoming the kind of person other people are
eager to follow. These people won’t just agree to support you.
They’ll line up to champion your causes, and they’ll have your back
whenever you need their help.
In this book, we’ve distilled the elements of connected influence
into a simple four-step model for becoming wildly successful by
being both influential and “influenceable.” We’ve helped thousands
of people master these four steps—and in the process, we’ve em-
powered them to save their companies, increase their sales, achieve
business goals they thought were impossible, and take their personal
relationships to an entirely new level.
But this book isn’t just about our own experiences. In addition,
we’ve interviewed more than one hundred remarkable influencers
who are putting these same steps into action in their own lives.
These people are using their powers of persuasion to change the
world every day. They head international corporations, raise millions
for charities, help kids with cancer, and work to save the planet. They
personify success, and their stories illustrate the astonishing power
of connected influence.
As you read these stories, here is what we want you to remember:
No matter who you are and where you are in life, you can do
what these people have done. In fact, the most powerful lesson the
stories in this book illustrate is that anyone can positively influence
anyone else, regardless of their differences in experience, status,
age, income, or power. The people we talked with didn’t start out with
powerful connections, but they knew how to earn these connections
and how to solidify and expand them. Their message is that there is
no need—ever—to set limits in your influence potential. When you
master the steps we outline in this book, you can influence anyone,
even someone who “has it all.”
This book won’t tell you what you can accomplish by tricking
people, manipulating them, or stepping on them. Instead, it will
teach you how to be the kind of influencer that you and the people
in your life want you to be. That’s because as you build deeper rela-
tionships, you’ll drive stronger results. And when you approach rela-
tionships by thinking about giving rather than getting, and about
adding value before seeking value, you’ll be amazed at the return
you see on your investment.
When you put the ideas in this book to work in your own life,
you’ll learn what all the masters of influence in this book know.
Connected infl uence pays off—and it pays forward. Connected in-
fluence multiplies, and as it multiplies, it leads to amazing outcomes.
Here's to yours.
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